


I Do.

by WORLDLWT



Series: I Do. [1]
Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Emotional, Fluff, Harry is sad, Love, M/M, Marriage, Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Sadness, harry loves Louis, louis doesn't love harry, louis gets married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:05:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4800542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WORLDLWT/pseuds/WORLDLWT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Louis watched the moment where the life left Harrys eyes, he's not dead. He's the best man at Louis' wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Do.

**Author's Note:**

> SO SO SO many people found my tweet about this AU and it was 100% the emotion I wanted everyone to get so why not make it a one shot!
> 
> My twitter is  
> @WORLDLWT
> 
> you guys are the reason I'm writing this so I'm going to go deep into the emotional side of things so i apologize now ;)
> 
> Im going to do the wedding day and maybe the after party thingy too. 
> 
> I hope you like it :)

_May 4th 2012_

_"Harry!"_

_Louis ran through my front door, a beautiful ball of energy. He was smiling so wide, I thought his cheeks would crack in half. He stopped in front of me a bit bouncy as his hands found their way to my shoulders. I smiled back not able to control my emotions. He looked so beautiful like this, smiling, happy, a ball of pure and utter joy._

_He hugged me tight, his breath coming out in uneven, messy pants. He made cute noises as he strangled my torso. I smiled softly down at the brown soft hair that I've only ever dreamt about running my fingers through. He snuggled closer for a moment and pulled back. Those blue eyes, the eyes I fell in love with so many years ago. They were illuminated today, brighter, streaks of gold lining them._

_He looked up at me while his hands rubbed up and down my arms. He seemed to get nervous for a moment. It was quickly replaced again with the bursts of joy coming from his small frame._

_"I have just the most wonderful news!"_

_He pulled me over to my couch, grabbing my hands and pulling them into his lap as he sat across from me smiling. What was making him so giddy? He rubbed his thumbs over my fingers, my palms were_   _sweating, the skin under my hair was itching. I held my breath as he opened his mouth to speak through his face splitting smile._

_"I proposed to Alice!"_

_My world stopped spinning, my eyes watered, my hands slipped from his soft ones and into my own lap. I wiped the sweat away smiling at Louis, nervously laughing. He looked at me confused._

_"Harry are you alright?"_

_I nodded softly and pulled him in close. I rested my chin on his soft and delicate shoulder. He hugged me tightly, small, soft arms wrapping themselves once again around my torso. He smelt extra good today. I sighed knowing what I had to say._

_"You have no idea how happy I am for you Lou!"_

_I lied right through my teeth. He snuggled closer to me whispering his thanks. I held him and looked out the window. I couldn't understand how the laughing children were getting on the school bus, how the women in red was walking her dog, how was anyone doing anything when my whole world just stopped._

_Louis pulled away smiling, kissing my cheek and left soon after telling me with a heartbreaking, white smile that he had wedding planning to do. The moment he drove away my smile dropped, I slowly closed the door resting my forehead on it and my heart pumped out of my chest. I've never felt pain like that, my tears have never flown so quickly down my face. My body gave out and I fell to my knees._

_My hands came up to hide my face, still facing the door. I cried my heart out that day, quietly and alone on the cold floor of my entryway, the cool early May breeze reaching my unclothed knees from under the door way almost tormenting me. I decided then that this was the worst day of my life._

_**September 14th 2015** _

I was wrong. As I looked in the tall wall length mirror of my dressing room I recalled that memory, the simple declaration that it was the worst day of my life. That feeling didn't compare to the utter torture I feel right now.

I helped Alice pick flowers, I went home and cried. When Louis brought me along cake tasting, I complained of a stomach ache and cried my eyes out in the bathroom. They almost left without me too. I remember when Louis lightly punched me in the arm at a bar, he told me I was going to be the hottest best man there and all of Alice's cousins would swoon for me.

He was drunk but I wasn't, I laughed along as he joked about how maybe we would be family one day. I tugged tightly at my tie, the ring Louis gave me on my 21st birthday sat on my finger and glistened under the light. He described it as a sentiment of his everlasting friendship. I wanted anything but friendship with him but ever since that windy day in May that's all i'll ever have with him.

My special gift for him sat heavily in my pocket and every so often I reached inside and stroked the edge of the box. I looked myself over in the mirror once more. My lips were to red, mostly from the biting and the amount of times I pulled on them to try and desperately stop myself from crying. My hair was done perfectly by some professional lady who kept asking me if I was excited and happy. Little did she know that I would have much rather preferred if she just bashed me over the head with the hairdryer in her hands. 

I tucked a strand behind my ear softly unloosing the tie I almost strangled myself with moments before. A knock came and I ignored it at first, not wanting to be bothered right now. Too low in my own self pity to be considerate to someone else's presence and problems. It came again followed by a soft voice.

"Harry its me."

I sighed my fingers ghosting over the cool metal of the door, the love of my life was on the other side. I opened it and he walked in smiling brightly. I took him in, a picture of happiness, the perfect groom. I could imagine him walking down the aisle to me or the other way around, I wouldn't mind as long as it was him and I. My parents were here too my mom knew about my secrets, she would arrive any moment with homemade cookies and a warm hug. Louis snapped his fingers in front of my face and I jumped back slightly startled. 

"Harry? Earth to Harry! Are you alright?"

I nodded taking him into a bone crushing hug. He giggled and hugged me back. A blissful sigh of content, my last hug before he gave himself to someone who was much more fortunate than I. She deserved him, I knew that. I wanted him for myself and that was cruel. He was here in my arms, but he belongs in hers. A tear slipped from my eye landing in Louis hair. He was less then an hour away from marrying the love of  _his_ life.

I brought him over to a small love seat in the corner of the room. My tears were on full display and Louis looked nervous. He went to go say something but I shook my head taking out the small box from my pocket. I placed it in his hand, mine shaking slightly.

"Louis. Lou. My best friend, I want you to know, firstly, that I'm incredibly happy for you. I've never seen you look at someone the way you look at Alice. She, in my eyes, is the luckiest person on this cruel earth. She found everything I could ever want and she found it in you. I hope you guys live a long and loving life together."

I opened the box with shaky hands, tears sliding down my face. Louis was breathing heavily. I pulled out the necklace I got him. It had a heart shaped pendent. It didn't say I love you or forever yours nothing like that. It was simple, one side had my initials and the other the two words I could only hope Louis took straight to heart.   _remember me._

"This says remember me because I know our lives are going to change after you say I do. Those two words are to only be shared between you and Alice so I'm hoping remember me can be ours. I don't plan on leaving, If you move to China I hope you know ill be on the next plane out of here, but its going to change and in those moments when I can't be there I hope you remember me." 

Louis laughed through some tears and my shaky hands met his. The necklace falling between my fingers into his cupped hands. He wiped some tears away softly and examined the necklace. He muttered the words remember me over and over again while smiling, the tears streaming. He looked at me, his eyes glossy and shining. He let the necklace fall into his jacket pocket. Patting it several times.

"I think the only appropriate spot for this is not around my neck, but beside my heart. You'll be standing beside me when I say I do, but now you'll _always be in my heart_. I love you Harry."

He hugged me tightly, my mother walked in through the door and looked at the sight smiling softly to herself, both boys covered in tears, a messy hug that meant way too much to both of them but for drastically different reasons. I let go first rubbing his arms up and down the same way he rubbed mine when he told me he proposed.

"I love you too Louis Tomlinson."

He hugged me again and placed a hand over his heart and my pendent, smiling softly before leaving the room. My mother stepped in smiling just as softly at me. Before speaking she wrapped her arms tightly around me. Her perfume smelt comforting and her arms felt safe. Her chin rested on my shoulder.

"Im so very proud of you Harry. You're so strong baby. You'll find the one, I know you will." 

I snuggled closer to her my eyes blurring with tears for what felt like the hundredth time this year, the thousandth time this week and the billionth time since May 4th 2012. I thought it over, her words. Would I ever find the one. I thought it was Louis, I was sure of it. The intense feelings I felt for him couldn't be duplicated, could they?

I left my mothers embrace. Smiling down at her as she stroked my cheek. I leaned into her touch closing my eyes. She wiped tears away softly with her thumb the way you would think a mother would the day of your wedding, not your best friends. 

"Thanks mom, how long do I have left."

She looked over my shoulder at the clock. She sighed and I knew it was going to be a close call. She looked back into my eyes they softened and I feared the worst. Her hand fell from my face to my shoulder and then down to interlock our fingers.

"Its time."

I felt as if my own mother was leading me to my death, an innocent human being strapped to a table awaiting lethal injection, the boy who was wrongly framed, being strapped to the electric chair his last meal the equivalent of my last hug with Louis. I let my mother walk in before the ceremony officially started. 

I got in line, fixing my tie avoiding all eyes. Louis tapped me smiling, patting the heart pendent. I smiled trying not to cry as I taped the side of my head before the soft music started. Alice's mother walked out first. In a long grey gown. The lace making he pale white skin glow. She smiled and waved lowly at certain family members.

Next, where the groomsmen, One by one a mixture of Louis' and Alice's friends walked out happily and content. I stood waiting patiently, Louis' hands, lightly making circles on my back. My mom saw me and pushed her chin up slightly. I did the same and plastered a smile on my face as I caught Louis' hand and let it slip from my fingers as I walked out and down the beautifully decorated aisle. 

When I took the last step and turned to my position, Louis started walking down. I watched him happily, head held high, this was the happiest day of his life and the worst of mine. He caught my eye and I nodded touching my heart and then my head with two fingers. He smiled looking down and stepped into his position.

Next was the officiant, the bridesmaids, the maid of honor, the flower girls and ring bearer, Louis' adorable siblings who waved at me and hung around my legs. Then finally, his beautiful bride.

She looked like she just walked out of a magazine. She had long brown hair, curled to perfection and blue eyes that looked like the morning sea. I smiled hard trying not to cry as Louis' eyes brimmed with tears. I was standing across from him, if he moved he would see me slowly breaking behind the what I thought was a solid wall. I put it up two years ago and it was crumbling with every step Alice took.

When she reached Louis he smiled at her taking her hands. He smiled brightly, tears brimming their eyes and mine. The officiant told everyone they could take their seats and the shuffling of feet made it easier to choke out a small sob. I collected myself as the last bodies sat down an erie silence falling over us. I shook a little, one of our friends placing his hand on my back rubbing it softly.

_"Friends and family of the bride and groom, welcome and thank you for being here on this important day. We are gathered together to celebrate the very special love between bride and groom, by joining them in marriage. All of us need and desire to love and to be loved."_

I took a deep breath, shaking very slowly, almost going unnoticed. My mom held her hands to her lips and I looked into her eyes fear and unhappiness brimming mine. The priest is right we all desire to love and to be loved in return but sometimes we don't get that. Sometimes we get the cruel and bitter truth that some people are meant to be in love, but aren't meant to be together and that's life. Life is cruel and it doesn't always give you who and what you want. But you have to cope and you have to stay strong because you'll find your happy ending.

_"So, let your marriage be a time of waking each morning and falling in love with each other all over again."_

I remembered all the times that I woke up surrounded by a pool of my own tears mixed with whatever alcohol I was drinking the night before, bottles all around, sometimes an unfriendly face sleeping naked beside me.

The priest went on and on about love and I thought back to 8th grade when I accidentally bumped into Louis in the hallway. He yelled at me to watch where I was going, I didn't hear him in that moment all I could see was fierce blue eyes. I remember prom where neither one of us had dates, because well we were weird and we danced together the whole night. Those days he came home complaining about our physics homework and I wanted nothing more than to listen to all his complaints so he could get them all off his chest and I could hear his voice.

I craved his touch, his voice, the way his hair stuck up in the morning, the way he looked after a good cry, embarrassed but overall relieved. The way his eyes lit up when he talked about his favorite book, his fascination with gobstoppers. He used to bite down on them and I would hold my ears and tell him to stop making that noise, the sound of his teeth hitting the candy drove me insane but right now, in this moment I would do anything to turn back time and spend those times with him again.

He was smiling, she was smiling and with every word my heart was breaking into a million small and jagged pieces that would take years to put back together. I felt as if my soul was trying to leave my body. The officiant continued on, Louis eyes locked with mine and I couldn't even find the energy to smile. 

_"Do you, Alice, take thee, Louis, to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"_

Alice beamed at Louis and said the two little words I would've killed to say.

**"I do."**

The officiant turned to Louis and if my heart stopped beating now and my soul left my body I wouldn't have been surprised.

" _Do you, Louis, take thee, Alice, to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, tip death do you part?"_

Louis smiled softly looking up at me, almost hesitating as he looked down into the eyes of the love of his life, smiling much harder now. He was about to ruin my life, my soul but most importantly my heart. The heart is a fragile thing, once its broken it doesn't go back right, theres always something missing. 

_**"I do."** _

My body was numb, I felt nothing but a feeling of being eaten alive. My heart felt like it was a crystal balloon and Louis just threw a dart at it with the words  _i do_ carved into the side. He threw it with full force, hitting me dead on and his prize, his prize were the million pieces he broke himself, our memories, our shining moments spilling out completely, surrounding me in a bubble of nostalgia.

_"It is my honor to pronounce you man and wife! You may now kiss your bride."_

They smiled and kissed, I felt dizzy, everyone cheered and took pictures. Louis looked up at me smiling, two fingers over his heart and then to his head. I looked at him with no emotion and he frowned as I mimicked his motion. He probably wanted a nice moment between him and his best friend. We don't always get what we want. I want nothing more then for the whole room to leave so I could just lay here and cry. 

The happy couple walked out the door followed by the whole room except for the priest and I. I sat down on the steps where Alice was just standing, moments ago, marrying the love of my life while I watched in pain. The priests watched me quietly as he cleaned up. I sat silent tears streaming down my face. He joined me soon after.

"Love is a funny thing isn't it. You can pour your soul into others and get nothing in return."

I nodded and he rubbed my back. 

"People will start to wonder where you've disappeared to. Good luck son."

I smiled at the priest as he rose and continued on with his cleaning as if our conversation didn't happen. I didn't thank him or even turn around I headed straight to my room. I unlocked the door quickly and rushed inside, grabbing a pen and paper.

_Dear Louis,_

_Today is September 14th 2015, your wedding day._

_I remember when we first met, prom, graduation from high school and college and every moment in-between._

 

_Somewhere along the way I fell madly in love with you. If I'm being honest I think it was the moment I looked into your eyes. You had me from the very first moment. Ive never felt like this for anyone, nor will I ever again._

_I love you too much to stay here. I can't torture myself this way. Alice is a beautiful girl and I hope you're happy together. I almost died up there watching you two smile at_ _each other, my whole world stopped the day you got engaged. I said I was happy but Louis, oh Louis I cried for days, weeks months I feel like i haven't stopped crying since that day in May._

_I disappointed you today I could see it in your eyes. I could only imagine the look in mine, probably nothing, I feel nothing, I am nothing._

_By the time you read this the party will be over my speech will make both of us cry and then hug. But ill also be gone, I'm going to New York. I need to start over. Far away from you. I want you to know that I love you more than you understand and more than I want to feel. You're everything I've ever wanted and more. But alas I can't have you so its time, my job here is done. See you someday._

_Remember me,_

_Harry Styles your forever friend._

I left it in his room. On top of his jacket from this morning. I smiled softly to myself a tear slipping, one of not sadness but of new beginnings and adventures. 

Then I was on my way.


End file.
